… shaking it off… and heading out in search of balance…

Posts tagged ‘sadness’

WARNING: it’s gettin ugly!

well, not many food photos today… but not b/c i didn’t feel like being the geek with the camera at all my meals… but b/c i didn’t eat much today.

as you may know, my son, farley, is a miniature doxie… and is long…

has had a rough go of it lately! he gets a sore back from time to time, but this time has been worse… for more than a week he’s been willingly staying in bed all day and night (NOT normal… he usually is up doing a lot of investigating and tracking around the yard)

this morning when we got up i noticed his back legs looked wobbly… i knew it was bad.

so i went to work and waited for the first chance to call the vet…

i never had breakfast.

my vet told me she was worried about Farley and that i needed to take him to the specialist right away.

after dropping him off at the specialist, and talking with him briefly, i knew no matter the outcome, it was going to be expensive and that my dog was in a lot of pain!

i had a good cry, and on my way back into work nikki stopped me and said she was buying me lunch. wha? food? i hadn’t even thought about it all day…

half a chicken salad and a cup of vegan tomato basil soup…

and nikki insisted i needed chocolate

i only ate about 1/3 of this, and gave the rest to a friend when we got back to work.

i couldn’t do anything the rest of the day… except wait for the doctor to call with the results of Farley’s tests.

well, the news wasn’t good… Farley has a ruptured disc, and needs surgery. dr. recommended he keep him over the weekend rather than risk him getting hurt even worse at home, and that they do the surgery first thing monday morning.

sooooo i came home and made some dinner

TAKE NOTE: THE BEST HUMMUS EVER !!!!!!

so i know he’s “just a DOG”… i can see my father now, rolling his eyes and giving me the “are you kidding me” look!

but it’s also “just money”… right??

i’ve cried as much as i can, and i’ve gotten MAD b/c i’ve been hyper vigilant about his back since the day i got him, and this has happened anyway, and i’ve told myself “he’s just a DOG”…

but the alternative to the surgery is having him put down. i know people do it, but really? i just don’t see myself being able to physically push those words out of my mouth!

he’s only 4… and he’s a lot more to me than “just a dog”…

so i turned to cookie dough for dessert… in liquid form

vanilla vodka and ginger ale

really… it tastes like cookie dough… try it.

i’m drained!!

and even though i know it’s better for him to stay with the dr., i’m so sad i can’t see my little dude right now!

so instead i’ll leave you with a few photos of farley boy in happier times…

with his aunt marti (she’s the reason i fell in love with wiener dogs)

riding in the car…

wind in his hair… or ummm… ears…

chillin with his brother…

gettin his beauty sleep…

and just overall looking handsome!!

ughhh i’m goin back to my “cookie dough”

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