… shaking it off… and heading out in search of balance…

so is it weird that i wanted to watch a show tonight just b/c the previews include the brandi carlile song, “dreams“??

the new show is “the deep end” and i guess it’s supposed to be about first year attorneys in a big firm in LA. so far i’m not very impressed.. but i suppose i’ll give it another shot next week. i just don’t understand why these shows about firms/attorneys are so far from reality… no one in the firm is nice to the new people? all the attorneys are rude to the staff? every person is a slut???

tangent right out of the shoot?!?!? NICE!

anyhoooo… i dont have that many comida photos b/c i posted breakfast this morning

and the lunch i was supposed to eat yesterday, was also already posted.

wow, cool blog post tonight, huh???

have no fear! being short on words is seldom a problem of mine. so of course, i have a few other things to say!

first off, i realized last night that my chip drawer is so full it’s embarassing! and then i thought, heyyyy i know someone who will be impressed.. ALLI!!

apparently we’ve been into buying healthy-ish chips lately…

another thing i’ve been into buying… is nut butter! and here’s where i go off the deep end again… for some reason when i attempt to eat healthy and get things in order i have a huge fear of fat!! now obviously i don’t always have this fear… b/c if i did, i’d probably be too thin, which is clearly not the case.

but when i attempt to make better choices and go on, say… a healthy binge!??! fat freaks me out!!
so after reading some healthy living blogs and starting my own journey, i was intrigued by how many people love nut butters… i thought i’d give them a try, and as it turns out… i too love them!

but then suddenly… TOTAL PANIC!! nut butters have quite a bit of fat!! i can’t eat those AND lose weight! i know people say the nut butters are healthy, and that they actually lost weight when they started eating them… and i know this all takes eating anything in moderation into account… but i just can’t stop fretting and worrying about a single bite of nut butter going down my pipes and immediately latching onto my ass!!!!!

to conquer fear, i did this last night:

(there were also pretzels involved)

and how do i feel you might ask???

TERRIFIED!! i spent the whole day today wanting to eat peanut butter but being too scared…

like i said… off the deep end!

so after freaking out all day about fatty nut butter i jetted home after work, knowing i promised to make my friend JR breakfast pizza for dinner, spiralized some potatoes and then hit the gym for a quick/intense workout before he showed up!

you can’t see me, but trust me… i have my proud face on! normally i would have said, well, i have company coming over, there’s simply NO time for a workout. good grief, what has 2010 done to me!??!

breakfast pizza got the thumbs up!


for the masses:
– an italian herb flat out
– TJ’s pizza sauce
– spiralized yukon gold potato pre-baked (they stuck to the pan, so this needs a remedy)
– pancetta
– scrambled egg
– sprinkle of shredded cheese on top

then some franks to top it off… b/c everything is better with FRANK

for me:
– flat out
– TJ’s pizza sauce
– scrambled egg
– spinach
– artichoke hearts
– sprinkle of shredded cheese
and… FRANK

served with a basic salad (mary’s crack makes great added “crunch” to a salad!!)

and to tie it all together… a bogle chardonnay in the good ol’ WUPILP (willamette university public interest law project) auction glasses. back from my days of saving the world one unpaid legal internship at a time!

i even packed up a dinner to send with JR for his wife Nikki b/c she was taking a class and couldn’t join us for dinner..

i’m being healthy AND nice?? someone check my temperature!!

after dinner we lounged…

some of us with our tongues out…


some of us without…

and some of us still on bed rest due to back injury…

poor little dude!

SO… not that it’s worth going off the deep end for, no matter what the answer is, but… my fear of fat… mainly nut butter fat… is it rational? are nut butters reserved for people who are already at a healthy weight?? or can i eat nut butter and still lose weight??

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Comments on: "going off the deep end" (4)

  1. that drawer is a beautiful sight! 🙂 and those flat out pizzas look killer! everytime i see you use artichokes i get so hungry, but i never keep any in the house!

  2. Your fear is rational, but you know it is not based in fact. You can lose (or gain) weight on ANY food…it all has to do with serving size, calories in and calories out.

    I’m proud of you for hitting the gym when there were so many reasons just to skip it!!!

    I’m may be switching up our menu for tomorrow night…those pitas we had were AMAZING. Hummus plate, perhaps?

  3. I’ve already lost 10+ lbs while eating nut butter but that’s 1 Tablespoon at a time and while I was probably having that much every day, the novelty wore off and I’m not that into it at the moment.

    The real almond butter without added sugar just wasn’t a trigger for me so I could have a serving and be good with that. Avocado is another one of those foods I was “taught” would fatten me up but some here and there is not going to do that. That’s my 2 cents. 🙂

    • i will NEVER give up avocado… period. end of story!
      my cousins in malibu have a tree… their dog just lays around and eats the ones that fall from the tree. i want her life!!!

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