… shaking it off… and heading out in search of balance…

Archive for January, 2010

ch ch changes…

look who is home!!!!!!

(sleeping with monkey, in the chair, next to me… just like things should be!)

SO in the new year, i resolved to become the healthy person i’m dying to be

i figured it was time i checked in with myself on that front.

well, for the most part, things have been going pretty well. i have recommitted to going to the gym, and to seeing jillian again (although admittedly not as often as i should be)…

given the rollercoaster of extreme diets, weight loss, weight gain, self loathing, success and failure i’ve been on, my initial approach to this pursuit of finding a balanced healthy way of… well, getting healthy… was to resist COUNTING CALORIES.

i thought this was a good idea b/c i know how to be healthy, i just don’t always do it, and i didn’t want to count calories b/c i didn’t want to be obsessed.

however, while i have definitely improved with my eats, i know i can be better!

SO… ok ok OK… i’m going to count calories! i believe this will help me stay more accountable, AND it will keep me from excusing a snack here or there that i know creep up in calories, but when i don’t count, i can act like it’s not as big of a deal.

second, i am going to focus on eating 5 or so small meals per day, rather than 3 larger meals. for an interesting discussion on this topic surf on over to my new pal holly’s abode (love her!!), the reason for this is it will keep me from getting TOO HUNGRY b/c when that happens…

a) i’m less likely to go to the gym after work b/c all i can think about is how hungry i am

2) i’m more likely to overeat, which is what happens when i let myself get too hungry between meals, and

d) i’m more likely to be sluggish after a meal b/c i’ve eaten too much b/c i’ve let myself get too hungry

wow, is that a vicious cycle or what!?!?

i figure part of this journey is figuring out what works and what doesn’t!

that being said, here are some of today’s eats… not all of them, and not quality photos b/c all i had was my phone (i was a little off today with the anticipation of going to get my son!!)

breakfast and snack…

odwalla, un-pictured banana, apple, pb, and the KING of string cheese (TJ’s light)

i was SO proud of my lunch when i left the house this morning, but then…

ummm makeshift veggie pizza? basically?

i had these great pitas and figured i’d stuff half of one with TJ’s jalapeno/cilantro hummus, spinach, carrots, and sunshine veggie burger of the breakfast variety, with sliced pickle on the side. but at work i discovered the pita didn’t open… so instead i piled it all on top and wrestled with it for a while until i got it all down.

it tasted good, but the unanticipated wrestling match sort of ruined it for me!

i figured i could read “esquire” while i enjoyed my lunch, but after 10 minutes of the guys in the room drooling and howling like puppy dogs at blake lively on the front, i scooted it across the table and bugged out!

i left work early to pick up my doxie boy!! the dr. showed me his xrays (where the disc matter in his back was actually invading and pushing on nerves and his spinal cord)… and said he just adored farley and was really impressed with how quickly he’s recovering! i then signed in blood from the tip of my finger to give the surgeon my first born to satisfy the surgery debt, and we headed home!

anne made dinner b/c i wasn’t going to do anything except chill in the chair with farley…

it was GDW inspired… Alli, don’t be disappointed in me… it doesn’t do your example justice, but we worked with what we had, and it actually tasted pretty good!

brown rice, edamame, egg, and spicy jalapeno chicken sausage from TJ’s (which are awesome, in case anyone was wondering)

it’s SO good to have our farley boy home… he’s pretty wobbly in his back right leg b/c that’s the side of the spine the dr. had to remove the most yucky stuff from… (enjoy our retro kitchen floor)

but it should get better and better as he gains more strength…

for the next couple weeks he’ll be doing lots of this

(hobbling, but tail wagging!!)

and after two weeks he can start going on short walks
then in two months… he should be as good as new… which is a good thing b/c i have a feeling those squirrels in our backyard are going to be getting pretty cocky by that time!! 😉

PEACE

Advertisements

you saved my marriage!!

a lot of people don’t know that i moonlight as a superhero to marriages on the brink of disaster! last night, duty called!! my good friends nikki and jr have what i lovingly refer to as a “shit show” going on in their lives right now! jr just took on major responsibility at work, nikki is taking an incredibly stressful class, AND they are remodeling their kitchen!
no, i mean a SERIOUS remodel…

yesterday after talking to both parties about the fact that they had to put cabinets together so the contractor could install them, but they had just brought the cabinets home the night before, and if they aren’t done the contractor will fall behind schedule, and then, basically, the world ends… i realized that the bottom line is, they are both too stressed out to think rationally!

SO i told jr if he took me to see farley after work we would help him construct the cabinets.

i got to see my son for the first time since friday! he was doing pretty well, but i’m not gonna lie, the 12 staples down his back were a little hard to see.

(just a small photo… didn’t want to gross anyone out!)

and we went to work on the cabinets… apparently when you’re 6’10″… you work better lying down???

and a sample of the finished product…

this morning i was greeted at work by a beaming and more relaxed nikki, and a “thank you haiku” in which she expressed her gratitude, complimented my cabinet constructing skills AND informed me we saved her marriage. pretty good for one little haiku!

tonight there was less drama, and fewer heroics. however, we did have a pretty bomb ass dinner, so i figured i would share it with you!

we are french dip fans at this house… but i am less and less interested in any kind of red meat
so i haven’t had french dip for a while, but i have been craving it… DILEMMA!!

then it came to me… turkey dips??

so at the grocery store over the weekend anne helped me pick out an uncooked turkey breast (i wanted nothing to do with already cooked turkey, and especially not turkey “lunch meat”), but the only turkey breasts available were big hunks of skin on turkey breast.

ok, i realize i’m 29 and should be over it, but i’m not gonna lie, any skin on meat immediately activates my gag reflex upon me laying a hand on it, so a compromise was in order! as we’re standing over the turkey section in the grocery store i said, “OK, you skin it, i’ll do the rest”

right! DRAMA!

she agreed… so this morning before work, anne removed all the skin from the turkey breast, then we put that in the crock pot with the following additional ingredients:

– 1 jar peperoncini rings (peppercinis, banana peppers, whatev!!!)
– 1 packet dry italian dressing
– 2 packets dry au jus (we use lawry’s)
– we eyeball the water but basically until it comes about halfway up the slab of meat… less water obviously means stronger au jus, more water, weaker au jus… very scientific!!

we set the cock pot on low and headed out the door

on our way home form work the teen called and said the delicious smell coming from the crock pot was making it impossible for him to study for his finals. i have NO idea where he gets his dramatic side….???? wha? don’t look at me!!

when we walked in the door and lifted the lid…

the whole house smelled like french dip… it was intoxicating to some of us.

anne sliced up the turkey breast and put the slices back into the crock pot with the au jus and banana peppers.

jack tried to get someone to explain to him why we gave him a home haircut that resulted in a mullet…

while i made some salads

we toasted some whole wheat rolls, put a little horseradish on them, and served it with the salad and a toddler size serving of straight mashed potatoes

these little dippers are SO FREAKING GOOD!! i loved having the banana pepper rings in there so i can eat them on top of the sandwich.

aadlfkjoihwoeinlm.,dafopwiehpq9w8eq398noiem, cv

OH pardon me… i was wiping my drool off the keyboard!!

sometimes i forget how easy the crock pot can make my life… toss the goods into the crock in the morning, and when you get home… dinner is ready!?!?

do you use the crock pot? what’s your favorite crock pot recipe??

the buffalo un-wing

FARLEY UPDATE! the little dude had his surgery early this afternoon… the doctor called me right after and said he came through with flying colors!! the doctor said he had to remove “a large amount of debris from the spinal canal”… yikes!!

I’m sure farley boy will be up to his old antics in no time… including keeping all the toys for himself…

SO given that there was a big football game on last night, i was craving “hot wings” but didn’t want to leave the house, didn’t really want chicken, and wanted to be healthy… so what i really wanted was buffalo wing FLAVOR.

thus, the buffalo un-wing was born!

(tofu cooked in buffalo sauce)

i grabbed what seemed like it would make a good sauce…

the frank’s could have been the sauce on its own, but i wanted to add the sriracha to make it spicier, the worchesterrrrshiiiirerer to thin it out a little bit, and the garlic, well… b/c everything is better with some garlic.

but really, i think whatever your favorite hot sauce/bbq sauce will do!

i tried to press as much water out of the tofu as possible b/c i wanted a more dry, less squishy consistency, so i put it in paper towel between two plates with a book on top for about 1/2 hour

then sliced it up, laid it in a baking dish, and smothered both sides of it with my sauce…

then we all chillaxed for an hour… the tofu in the fridge, and the rest of us…

(ok this photo is old, but i thought it was appropriate)

then i shoved the tofu in the oven at 400 for 15 minutes, then flipped them (why is tofu so hard for me to flip without destroying it??) and let it go another 15.
the flavor had permeated the tofu really well… but i wanted it to be crispier, so i tossed it in a pan on the stove, letting each side cook for a few minutes.

this was the clincher! the final sizzle in the pan gave the tofu the crispier/caramelized outside i was looking for!

anne finished up the teen’s steak (every couple months he begs and pleads for A PIECE OF REAL MEAT)

he was just so happyyyyyy

and the un-wings!

served with mashed potatoes (skin on and just some light sour cream added) w/ frank’s on top, and a quick romaine/carrot/cuc salad w/ a light ranch drizzzzzzle

the flavor of the un-wings was really good… just spicy enough to make ya lips burn, and totally satisfied the hot wing craving!

FINALLY… roll on over to one of my most favoritest new friends’ blog, holly, the everythingtarian, and you might could win a blender!!

so does anyone have good tofu tips?? i really like it, and think it can be good a zillion ways, but man oh man i am seriously weak sauce when it comes to handling it!?!!?!?

keeping ourselves busy

since we got the news about farley boy’s serious back injury, we’ve been trying to keep ourselves busy.

we’ve been entering to win a fun giveaway compliments of the fabulous GC

engaging in home improvement therapy…

(i think carpet is yucky, especially since we have pets, so when we bought this house and pulled up the carpet, for some reason, WHO KNOWS WHY, there is a section of the hardwoods that had been damaged with a paint sprayer!?!? your guess is as good as mine..)

working on our skills for puppy class…

munching on apples…

trying a little eggy twist on the beloved GDW spicy oats

sneaking greens into the teen’s smoothies…


then last night i headed south to spend some time with oregon’s cutest girls!!

i even caught a great little sunset on the way…

(not bad for photos taken with the iphone while i was driving)

i had already planned to spend saturday evening with the ladies of the pea household, and really, there are no better girls to be able to hang with when you’re feeling down!

i mean, who wouldn’t want to have dinner prepared by a maiden and a ballerina??

well, with a little help from mama pea…

and lulu chilled with a skinny cow…

these girls are SO cute, and i adore spending time with them… it was just what i needed last night.
THANKS PEA GIRLIES!!!

after a fun night, my morning continued with my first brunch food gasm!!

the teen was begging for real meat (*insert chest pounding and grunting*), so i promised breakfast sandwiches with meat


(everything is better with Tillamook Cheese)

i had help sampling the canadian bacon…

i love breakfast sandwiches, and this one was SUPA TASTY


the first bite of this sandwich i took, i actually said, outloud, “oh my gosh… YUMMM”
i checked with the boss, G$, and she confirmed… it’s a food gasm!!

so i guess, given the circumstances, it’s been a pretty good weekend.

in fact, it’s about to get even better….

football, blue moon, and a greexican (greek/mexican) snack plate that i hope would make the kick ass Snackface proud!!

FINALLY… THANK YOU SO MUCH for your encouraging/supportive words about farley!! we have definitely decided to get him the surgery, no matter what it takes… even if we have to start having blog bake sales and lemonade stands to raise the dough!!!

WARNING: it’s gettin ugly!

well, not many food photos today… but not b/c i didn’t feel like being the geek with the camera at all my meals… but b/c i didn’t eat much today.

as you may know, my son, farley, is a miniature doxie… and is long…

has had a rough go of it lately! he gets a sore back from time to time, but this time has been worse… for more than a week he’s been willingly staying in bed all day and night (NOT normal… he usually is up doing a lot of investigating and tracking around the yard)

this morning when we got up i noticed his back legs looked wobbly… i knew it was bad.

so i went to work and waited for the first chance to call the vet…

i never had breakfast.

my vet told me she was worried about Farley and that i needed to take him to the specialist right away.

after dropping him off at the specialist, and talking with him briefly, i knew no matter the outcome, it was going to be expensive and that my dog was in a lot of pain!

i had a good cry, and on my way back into work nikki stopped me and said she was buying me lunch. wha? food? i hadn’t even thought about it all day…

half a chicken salad and a cup of vegan tomato basil soup…

and nikki insisted i needed chocolate

i only ate about 1/3 of this, and gave the rest to a friend when we got back to work.

i couldn’t do anything the rest of the day… except wait for the doctor to call with the results of Farley’s tests.

well, the news wasn’t good… Farley has a ruptured disc, and needs surgery. dr. recommended he keep him over the weekend rather than risk him getting hurt even worse at home, and that they do the surgery first thing monday morning.

sooooo i came home and made some dinner

TAKE NOTE: THE BEST HUMMUS EVER !!!!!!

so i know he’s “just a DOG”… i can see my father now, rolling his eyes and giving me the “are you kidding me” look!

but it’s also “just money”… right??

i’ve cried as much as i can, and i’ve gotten MAD b/c i’ve been hyper vigilant about his back since the day i got him, and this has happened anyway, and i’ve told myself “he’s just a DOG”…

but the alternative to the surgery is having him put down. i know people do it, but really? i just don’t see myself being able to physically push those words out of my mouth!

he’s only 4… and he’s a lot more to me than “just a dog”…

so i turned to cookie dough for dessert… in liquid form

vanilla vodka and ginger ale

really… it tastes like cookie dough… try it.

i’m drained!!

and even though i know it’s better for him to stay with the dr., i’m so sad i can’t see my little dude right now!

so instead i’ll leave you with a few photos of farley boy in happier times…

with his aunt marti (she’s the reason i fell in love with wiener dogs)

riding in the car…

wind in his hair… or ummm… ears…

chillin with his brother…

gettin his beauty sleep…

and just overall looking handsome!!

ughhh i’m goin back to my “cookie dough”

going off the deep end

so is it weird that i wanted to watch a show tonight just b/c the previews include the brandi carlile song, “dreams“??

the new show is “the deep end” and i guess it’s supposed to be about first year attorneys in a big firm in LA. so far i’m not very impressed.. but i suppose i’ll give it another shot next week. i just don’t understand why these shows about firms/attorneys are so far from reality… no one in the firm is nice to the new people? all the attorneys are rude to the staff? every person is a slut???

tangent right out of the shoot?!?!? NICE!

anyhoooo… i dont have that many comida photos b/c i posted breakfast this morning

and the lunch i was supposed to eat yesterday, was also already posted.

wow, cool blog post tonight, huh???

have no fear! being short on words is seldom a problem of mine. so of course, i have a few other things to say!

first off, i realized last night that my chip drawer is so full it’s embarassing! and then i thought, heyyyy i know someone who will be impressed.. ALLI!!

apparently we’ve been into buying healthy-ish chips lately…

another thing i’ve been into buying… is nut butter! and here’s where i go off the deep end again… for some reason when i attempt to eat healthy and get things in order i have a huge fear of fat!! now obviously i don’t always have this fear… b/c if i did, i’d probably be too thin, which is clearly not the case.

but when i attempt to make better choices and go on, say… a healthy binge!??! fat freaks me out!!
so after reading some healthy living blogs and starting my own journey, i was intrigued by how many people love nut butters… i thought i’d give them a try, and as it turns out… i too love them!

but then suddenly… TOTAL PANIC!! nut butters have quite a bit of fat!! i can’t eat those AND lose weight! i know people say the nut butters are healthy, and that they actually lost weight when they started eating them… and i know this all takes eating anything in moderation into account… but i just can’t stop fretting and worrying about a single bite of nut butter going down my pipes and immediately latching onto my ass!!!!!

to conquer fear, i did this last night:

(there were also pretzels involved)

and how do i feel you might ask???

TERRIFIED!! i spent the whole day today wanting to eat peanut butter but being too scared…

like i said… off the deep end!

so after freaking out all day about fatty nut butter i jetted home after work, knowing i promised to make my friend JR breakfast pizza for dinner, spiralized some potatoes and then hit the gym for a quick/intense workout before he showed up!

you can’t see me, but trust me… i have my proud face on! normally i would have said, well, i have company coming over, there’s simply NO time for a workout. good grief, what has 2010 done to me!??!

breakfast pizza got the thumbs up!


for the masses:
– an italian herb flat out
– TJ’s pizza sauce
– spiralized yukon gold potato pre-baked (they stuck to the pan, so this needs a remedy)
– pancetta
– scrambled egg
– sprinkle of shredded cheese on top

then some franks to top it off… b/c everything is better with FRANK

for me:
– flat out
– TJ’s pizza sauce
– scrambled egg
– spinach
– artichoke hearts
– sprinkle of shredded cheese
and… FRANK

served with a basic salad (mary’s crack makes great added “crunch” to a salad!!)

and to tie it all together… a bogle chardonnay in the good ol’ WUPILP (willamette university public interest law project) auction glasses. back from my days of saving the world one unpaid legal internship at a time!

i even packed up a dinner to send with JR for his wife Nikki b/c she was taking a class and couldn’t join us for dinner..

i’m being healthy AND nice?? someone check my temperature!!

after dinner we lounged…

some of us with our tongues out…


some of us without…

and some of us still on bed rest due to back injury…

poor little dude!

SO… not that it’s worth going off the deep end for, no matter what the answer is, but… my fear of fat… mainly nut butter fat… is it rational? are nut butters reserved for people who are already at a healthy weight?? or can i eat nut butter and still lose weight??

feelin the burn

well, i took the plunge!

noooo i’m not married… it aint gonna happen people!

but i did; however, get on the scale this morning… wrote the number down, subtracted from the goal and was left with a disgustingly large number.
ughhhhhhh… seriously!?!??!
do you ever stop and wonder… how did i get here??

BUT, that being said… i was proud of myself… b/c i marched out of the bathroom and got on with my day!!

a tip of the proverbial hat to mama pea for suggesting that i a) magic bullet up the spinach and almond milk for my smoothie before adding anything else and 2) shaking the magic bullet when it gets stuck (if anyone official from magic bullet reads this… i NEVER shook the magic bullet while using it… my friend suggested this and i told her i was pretty sure that was not recommended and that b/c i cared so much for my magic bullet, i would NOT engage in said activity… oh wait… like anyone official from anywhere reads this blog… hahahahahaha alas, it was fun to pretend!)

ANYHOOOO… the result…


– spinach
– chocolate almond milk
– greek yogurt
– blueberries
– ice

then continuing my productive morning, i packed my lunch!! look at me goooo!!

pretty good huh?
right, well, i never ate it… b/c i totally forgot the food cart “big ass sandwiches” (that’s right) was donating 100% of their profits and tips to the relief effort in Haiti today, i, well, i…. they were donating the profits to Haiti!

suffice it to say it was a big.ass.sandwich! i took off half the bread though… that’s gotta count for something, right??

ok so LUNCH = HEALTHY LIVING FAIL

BUT… i’m confident i made up for it when i hit the gym tonight… i was ready to roll, and elipticized my a** off for 25 minutes pretty much as hard as i could go with varying intensity for those 20 minutes, and then i switched it over to the treadmill (ughhhhhh the freaking treadmill) and walked for another 20 minutes, varying from walking fast at a mellow incline and then walking a little slower but at a much steeper incline…

I AM FEELIN THE BURN!!!

after the gym, i sucked down a LOT of water, stretched, and dove face first into dinner!

anne was super nice and made one of my favs… taco salads!

we snagged this salsa at whole foods tonight and it’s definitely a keeper!!


and in case anyone is wondering who makes the best guacamole in the history of the world… the answer is ANNE!

okayyyyy so now it’s thursday morning… for some reason my internet just went completely down last night, right before i posted… what the!?!?!?

but that’s ok b/c it allowed me to wake up STARVING this morning, and inspired to throw down a KATIE inspired banana hammock!!

perfectly ripe (interpretation slightly green) banana, drizzled with almond butter, dusted with dark chocolate cocoa powder and a few crushed up pretzels…

and i’m out…